i am almost done reading the first instalment of the notorious “fifty shades” series, and i have come to a startling conclusion : the series’ author, e.l. james, and stephenie meyer of twilight fame, are one and the same. or perhaps they’re cousins. or james is a huuuuuuge twilight fan. those were…
not a novel yet: fifty shades of grey : twilight, bondage style?
I truly believe this to be a masterpiece that is worthy of being #LOL, #COMICS, #ILLUSTRATION, #ART, #MENSWEAR, #LGBTQ, and #SAILING tagged.
Jeff Wysaski is a good and decent man.
(Source: textfromdog)
(Source: cupcakes-and-lithium)
| Zooey Deschanel: | Is that rain? |
|---|---|
| Siri: | What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to- |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Let's get tomato soup delivered! |
| Siri: | ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want. |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes. |
| Siri: | Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just- |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Remind me to clean up. |
| Siri: | Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible- |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Tomorrow. |
| Siri: | I'm in hell. This is hell. |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Excellent. Today, we're dancing. |
| Siri: | I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything. |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll." |
| Siri: | I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you. |
| Zooey Deschanel: | *dances* |
| Siri: | Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet. |
actually, your literature teacher can’t spell…
(Source: bestrooftalkever)
Moron of the day, Rep. James Lankford (R-OK) told ThinkProgress last week that he believes someone should be able to be fired for his or her sexual orientation.
He said this, because he thinks being gay is a choice. So… of course, I wrote him a letter:
Dear Jamey Lankford,
All things aside, who cares if being gay is a choice? The legality of firing someone for something they choose to do in their own free time is pretty clear cut. Sure, if someone is butt-fucking on their desk at H&R Block, or scissoring on the counter at Subway while they are supposed to be making sandwich art, they should be fired, but that would also be the case if they were having straight sex.
Maybe you hate gay people. Maybe you think what they are doing with their lives is a sin. But, in our country people of all kinds of different beliefs, colors, religions, and sexual orientations are supposed to be protected by laws, and being gay is protected by any number of these laws.
If YOU start ignoring these laws or KEEP ignoring these laws when it comes to one group of people, you never know when someone else is going to START ignoring these laws when it comes to YOU and what YOU want to do and who YOU are.
What if someone wanted to fire you for being a ginger, because your soulless pale skin is more susceptible to skin cancer, and they don’t want their health insurance rates to go up because you are always having to have biopsies?
What if someone wanted to fire you, because you have a terrible haircut? Your terrible haircut reflects poorly on the company. People think you are cheap and have no sense of self worth.
Anyone or anything can be demonized and that’s why we have laws. You should know a few of them before you get into politics.
Thanks,
Chuck McCarthy
(via bestnatesmithever)
